I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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