there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
soo... how was my night?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
