weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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