Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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