ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
