I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
