dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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