I just pynch a tree in the face
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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