Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...

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(409): View more from Texas

Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs

(1-409): View more from Texas

His name should be shouldn't

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(571): View more from Virginia

Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.

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(740): View more from Ohio

she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.

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(515): View more from Iowa

in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars

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(847): View more from Illinois

I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...

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(650): View more from California

i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era

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(813): View more from Florida

You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.

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