He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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