Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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