Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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