Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
