So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
