Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
3 2 1 whiskey
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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