If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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