I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
smell my finger.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize