Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
