R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just made out with a guy for $7.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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