Whod you bang
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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