that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
