WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
