I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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