my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
