well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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