Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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