You work out of a Hotel?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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