Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
