if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
