Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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