PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
