people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
