dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize