just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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