i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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