I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
