Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
