I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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