He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
