If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
