we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
