Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
