i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
