I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
