Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
