Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize