Just mADE A PArabola og urine
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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