I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
