Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
