guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize