he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
