hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
