Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
