Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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