My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
