I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
