never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
