I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
