Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
