...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
