my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
