P.S. I can't hear my feet
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
