I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize