I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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