I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
nutella sex= disaster
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
