He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
