never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
