I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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