Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
